While navel gazing one afternoon, it occurred to me, that I've lived my life - both literally and figuratively - in the context of the game show Family Feud.
Since I was about 8, I've identified answers to hypothetical questions that I might be asked if ever the unlikely day came that I was to appear on the game show. Flawed logic is already in play because you have to have a family willing to work as a team toward winning a common prize. We Cittermans are much more of a divide and conquer (each other) clan, which makes us better candidates for The Weakest Link. Dear family, would you like cheese with your whine?
That said, it's no surprise that traveling with me is no simple feat, and on a recent trip through Walla Walla with a couple of other couples, I hurled the challenge of evaluating wines through game show speak - and it played out.
First up: DaMa Wines 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon.
Sitting behind the Dating Game partition alongside two other candidates, I like what I hear from this full-bodied, yet restrained voice behind the curtain. Its quiet confidence exudes a soft sensibility over everyday courseness - a mix of silk and classic tobacco, mahogany wainscoting and men's club leather.
But what's that tone of Broadway musical and fashion trendspotter? A powerful surge comes over this masculine strength that could crush you like a grape. With its still subtle but obligatory edge, it begs you to read between the lines - I concluded the adoption to an overbearing mother and absent father - left it reflective of what luxurious brocade bedding and lots of pillows really does mean for its future.
Speaking of what's behind the curtain, Sleight of Hand's NV blend, The Spellbinder, ensures that what you see may be far from what you get.
With a slight verge below the surface, upon opening it's tight, but not for too long. It presents dark and herbal, and you know there's more going on. Suddenly, in an almost unnatural comfort, it relaxes and opens up - becomes your new best friend and is spilling waaaay too much information. Your head is reeling and rippling ... then pondering. Is it really a Newlywed Game myth? Or when Bob Eubanks asked the brides: "Where specifically is the weirdest place you ever had the urge to make whoopee?" Did she really give the rumored answer? Believe it or not!
aMaurice 2005 Syrah is self-described as the gentle giant, but what we're really talking about here is the single trombone in the woodwind section.
Subtle oak, dark fruit mix with spice and some of that uhh uhh uhh (head shake, finger wave). This wine permeates the latest tendency of game/reality shows like American Idol and Fear Factor - people will do and eat anything for money. This Syrah is the sensuality of the cha cha meets the funk of disco meets the "in for the kill" power of the pasodoble performed on So You Think You Can Dance.
Look like an angel but dance like a stripper, I say. You're sure to be a big winner in someone's eyes.
We opened an Owen Roe 2006 O'Reilly's Pinot Noir, a stray from Walla Walla.
It combines juicy berries with campfire smoke and spice and woodsy violet. It's a mouthful of smooth sleekness unto its own. A charismatic leader, this wine rises to any occasion, steps up to the podium and, in sudden death, provides the No. 1 answer to the gnawing question: "Name something you do in your car when you hope no one is looking." There is no stuttering, no stammering - but rather, sharp as a blade with one simple blow. The match is won, and the team advances to the finals to win the big money. And did I mention that the Price is Right on this bottled beauty at just $17?
And then there's the Dunham Cellars 2004 Lewis Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon - happy sigh, love and contentment.
With its clove and cassis mixed with vanilla-y tobacco, a conjured moment reminiscent of my underage Goth nightclub hopping comes to light: a clove cigarette dangling from an extender pursed between my black-rimmed lips (who did I think I was)!
Don't be confused, however, because this Cab is nothing of the sort. It walks a fine line of being dismissive but not uncouth, confident but not haughty - and slightly mystifying. It learns quickly that it is lonely at the top. But nonetheless, this wine is stalwart and fervent. And as the ruler of its domain, like the tormented British game show wench, Anne Robinson, (not to be confused with the American wench Ann Coulter) propounds a rhetorical interrogation: Who's headlights are constantly on dim? Who is as useful as an ashtray on a bicycle? And finally terminates the innocent with a greater tongue-lashing followed by, "You are the Weakest Link – Goodbye!"
On that note, for those inspired to get 15 minutes of fame, sway four family members to join your team and you too can be a contestant on Family Feud by calling 323-762-8467. (Yes, I had to look it up.)
Cheers!
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